Once my soulmate; once my confidant; once my bestfriend.
It was all once upon a time.
The time now, 40 minutes to welcoming the new year, 2008.
My vow I have faithfully kept to since 2005.
New Year's Eve is not a day for me to celebrate, until he asks me.
Somethn I've wanted, patiently waited till now.
Maybe I'm only waiting onto somethn impossible.
It nvr happened, even till 2008 slips in.
He nvr thinks of it.
It takes years for a fool to realise dat waiting this long is utterly idiotic and pathetic.
I'm a fool. A sad idiot.
You dont have to tell me, not to feel this way, do this or anythn.
It's my vow, my decision. And I stick to what I strongly believe.
It is my choice, whether I wanna feel this way every NY eve.
It is my choice, whether I feel like going out and dance the night away.
So, this time around, Im alone at home, listening to Sakura Drops (Utada Hikaru).
It can be on replay for the gazillionth time, and Im still not sick of it.
Until my sorrow is drowned, it will keep spinning in my ears.
Even if I fell asleep crying.
As long as he doesnt know of my vow, and what I have kept to myself all these years.
Now known to all, it doesnt matter bcz he still doesnt know.
I swear to not celebrate the New Year, even without him. Even if one day he finally asks. Bcz I already know, what belongs to me and what dont. I already know what is meant for me and what will be given to me.
It hit me hard when I realised where I stand.
Know where I stand?
No where. I don't hold a special place in his heart.
I cant brainwash this on my own; it keeps slipping off my mind.
My mind of which has not much traces of memory.
What was my resolution last yr anw?
Shucks. I cant rmbr.
What shud it be this yr?
Be happy? Be healthy? Be single forever? Be wasted? Dont fall in love?
HAHAHA.
Gila kaper aku niiiii.
Maybe I'll make my firm decision now.
Inspired by sakura drops..
I shall write down the first 2 lines of the song, in English.
Fall in love; then it ends. I swear: This will be my last heartbreak.
And dat is why the new year is nvr happy for me...
Blogger
Solehah Binti Mohari
June 17, 1987
19, Female
Gemini
Bedok Norf, Singapore
TP Graduate - Diploma in Business Information Technology
Chomel Pte Ltd - Merchandising Dept Single; not looking
Non-clubber; non-smoker; non-drinker
Thx for viewing my blog! =))
wishlist
hooded jacket. cardigans. grey top. purple top. orange top.
yellow top. green racerback top. grey skinny jeans.
red skinny jeans.
maroon skinny jeans. dark grey skinny jeans.
new black skinny jeans. keds sneakers.
watch. bag. everlast sneakers.
slippers. (again?! hahahha.) skinny belts.
new mp3. new flats. MNG white pullover. MNG racerbacks. 2008 diary/organiser.
